Some of you who read my review of The Fantastic Four movie asked me, how I felt about never getting those hours of my life back. And then when I revealed I had just watched Batman v Superman, you worried if I was on a dark path of self-loathing. I’m kidding, mostly.
There are two things that are not a secret of how I feel about comic books:
- I was and am a big comic-book fan, I still have about 1500 books bagged and boarded in my basement from my childhood (down from a peek of about 4000). I have a VF/VG Iron Man #1 among the collection.
- I consider The Man of Steel to be absolutely beyond horrible, and walked out of the movie. I’ve only ever done that once before, to Mortal Kombat 2. The “Synder Superman” is just a regular jerk of questionable inner strength and… I better stop or this is going to be 5000 words tearing it apart.
By the way, YES THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD, but most people would consider the whole movie to be spoiled or unfit for consumption, except the Wonder Woman bits.
What’s the point of reading a blog post if you’re just going to be left really disappointed or angry at the end, right? Well, here’s the super-brief (maybe wonder-brief?) summary: there were definitely some elements that I liked, much to my surprise. Also, I felt I understood what they were trying to do.
Why did I watch the movie?
This is a question I get as soon as I mention that I watched it. I had bronchitis (part of the joy of being a severe asthmatic) and couldn’t concentrate enough to write, so I figured WHY NOT. I rented it off iTunes and figured, what’s the chances that I regret my $5.99 purchase? Ultimately, I felt it was worth that amount.
There are a lot of movies that waste no time in disappointing you, but BvS? I actually was able to be brought into it pretty quickly, thanks to Ben Affleck’s truly excellent Batman.
My favorite Batman to date has been Michael Keaton, but ah… Ben tied him. I could completely understand why the executives wanted more Affleck on screen.
The sense of a man containing the rage and anger, always being Batman regardless of whether or not he was in costume, really came through.
Perry White was another character that I really enjoyed right out of the gate (great job by Lawrence Fishburne). The Honest Trailer of BvS poked fun at “too much journalism,” but I thought it worked. I would have easily liked more Fishburne onscreen time, though he’d have needed a different character I think.
There are so many things wrong with this movie. You can almost feel the parts that Ben Affleck was re-writing as they were going along. There are photos of him dressed in the Batman suit, rewriting parts. Hats off to that man, trying to salvage this train wreck.
The X over the image of Lex Luthor is so appropriate. The idea of a wunderkin genius who is younger than Bruce Wayne, I’ll buy. Him being mentally ill, I could buy, but they only have one real scene where they try to communicate that (and if they were not trying to communicate that, wow, it’s even worse than I thought).
When Lex is holding the library charity event, he goes up on stage to give a few words and he gets lost. I took this as one of two things, either his grip on reality is loosening, or he can’t focus through the inner voices or noise. It’s a shame because that could have been defining, to really anchor the character. Instead, it sits there, and then the character just does stuff that seems like he does it because he wants to do it. He comes across as cartoonish.
Now, we cannot talk about epic fails without talking about Superman himself… That isn’t a “sad Batman” in that picture, that’s a Batman who is pretty much embarassed to the point of being ashamed to be on screen with that Superman.
I remember when good old Henry Carvill was on Tudors, and I enjoyed him there. But geez, talk about someone who might be better playing Wild Cat or even the Punisher (though that role has been forever made awesome by Jon Bernthal), but Superman? It’s just getting worse. The best part was when he died at the end (told you there were spoilers). But sadly, there was a non-sensical hint that he was coming back…
The character’s lack of knowledge as to who Bruce Wayne is, him being a reporter and Bruce being the richest man in Gotham, makes no sense whatsoever. The big fight has plenty of no-sense. I get that Batman is rage, but Superman should just throw him into the air, than grab him and say “I need your help.” There are plenty of people who have ripped this part to pieces.
More than anything, it just continues to show that the writers and director do not understand Superman on any level.
It has been said that this movie had enough for six movies, and egads is it true. The whole Doomsday thing reminded me so much of The Fantastic Four movie, that I think I need therapy.
“We need a seemingly impossible to stop villain that just gets stronger and stronger, and can’t talk. Plus, can we make him look like a poo monster? That would be great.” I’m sure this is what some executive said somewhere, or maybe this was Zack Snyder’s vision, I’m not really sure.
Remember I said the movie had a strong start? Yeah, well, this is the other end. This is the “Oh dear god, what have you people done” part. The ONLY piece of value it has, is to provide Wonder Woman with a dramatic entrance.
The entire use of Doomsday could have been substituted with a simplistic giant monster, OR a possibly use of the Lex Luther “Super suit” or maybe, Metallo. I think the latter would have allowed for a good use of Brains versus the Bat and Kryptonite powered punches versus the Supes. But oh well…
It almost feels like the movie is Ben Affleck fighting to keep the movie above “total train wreck” long enough to get you to Wonder Woman.
She’s not over used, and presented in truly an excellent manner. I think it’s actually worth watching just for the Wonder Woman part. I’m really looking forward to that movie.
Ultimately, I think it was a potentially great Batman movie, trapped in a crappy Superman movie, stuffed with Justice League “HINTS AND SETUP”, plated with an excellent prelude to Wonder Woman. If I had one ask about the Justice League movie, it would be keep Superman dead.