How to be Paranoid – in 5 points

Sometimes the strangest things will pop into my head. It’s often like a child bouncing up and down, and wanting attention. And if I don’t give it the attention it needs, it will often distract me for hours. SO, in the spirit of bringing a grin, and putting this silly idea to rest, here is How to be Paranoid.

  1. You should be worried about who knows you are reading this, and what information they are collecting on you.
  2. You should check again to see if your cat or dog’s collar has a listening device.
  3. You should be fairly certain that just by reading up to this point, your computer or device will be monitored for the next 48 hours.
  4. You should remember that coincidence is too convenient, and everything is related and for a reason. Conspiracies don’t grow on trees… well, other than the conspiracy tree hidden in the south eastern end of Central Park.
  5. The only way to prove that it’s really the year 2135, and that you’ve fallen asleep  in a history simulator, is by finding the 4th wall. It’s said to be hidden behind wallpaper. Carefully peal back the corner of any wallpaper to see if it’s the wall.
  6. You should be less worried about who is tracking you, and more worried about those that aren’t. Do they know what’s wrong with you? Is that why? Or is it because you found number six in a list of 5?

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